The Family Ness

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Family Ness

The Family Ness first appeared in 1983 and was written and created by Peter Maddocks.

The Family Ness follows the story of two children (Elspeth and Angus) who discover a whole family of monsters living in Loch Ness, just below Inverness in Scotland. The Nessies have a strict rule, that they must not have any contact with humans... until they meet Elspeth and Angus.

As the episodes unfold, the more regular Nessies are introduced and lots of fun ensues!

Characters

Humans

  • Elspeth & Angus McTout - Son and Daughter of Mr McTout. They live in a little cottage by the side of Loch Ness.
  • Mr McTout - The keeper of Loch Ness. He has not seen a Loch Ness Monster and firmly believes that if they do exist then he will be the first to see one!
  • Sargent McFuzz - The local Policeman, based at Inverness.
  • Willie McFuzz & Tubby - Willie is the son of Sargent McFuzz. Together with his friend Tubby, they always cause trouble!
  • Professor Dumkopf - A mad, German sounding Professor who attempts to catch or photograph Loch Ness Monsters.
  • Mrs McToffee - Runs the village sweet shop.
  • Mayor & Mayoress - Mayor and Mayoress of Inverness (can often be seen at local fetes and judging the annual Loch Ness Monster competition.)

Nessies

  • Baby-Ness - Youngest of the Nessies.
  • Careful-Ness - A very careful Nessie!
  • Clever-Ness - Can be found building and inventing at the bottom of the loch.
  • Eager-Ness - A Nessie that is very eager to help.
  • Eyewit-Ness - Has all the appearance of a pirate!
  • Ferocious-Ness - The original Loch Ness Monster (seemingly scarey, but quite nice really!)
  • Grumpy-Ness - The name says it all!
  • Heavy-Ness - A rather large Nessie.
  • Her Highness - Ruler of the Nessies. Has the ability to breathe fire (very useful in Scotland!)
  • Lovely-Ness - An attractive female Nessie who attracts the attention of all the other Nessies.
  • Mighty-Ness - Often assists Heavy-Ness in getting Silly-Ness out of holes.
  • Silly-Ness - A Nessie that always seems to get into trouble!
  • Speedy-Ness - A very, very fast Nessie.
  • Sporty-Ness - Extremely good at water sports (as would be expected when primarily confined to a Loch!)

Cast & Credits

All characters voiced by Pete Hawkins and Sue Sheridan.

Created & Written by: Peter Maddocks
Animation by: The Animation People (Head: Brian Larkin)
Directed by: Jack Stokes
Produced by: Nick Roberts & Gus Angus
Executive Producer: Peter Maddocks

Merchandise

DVDs

The Family Ness - Volume 1
Family Ness DVD1.jpg

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The Family Ness - Volume 2
Family Ness DVD2.jpg

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Theme Tune

Music by Roger & Gavin Greenaway.

Lyrics

Opening Credits

MacToot blows on his bagpipes...
While Elspeth and Angus watch those notes,
Go floating across the waves!

Ferocious Ness appears at once,
And grabs a note or two for lunch,
And the whole of the Family Ness,
Is not too far behind!

Sporty Ness leaps over him,
Turns upside-down, then dives back in,
And the beautiful Lovely Ness,
Shows she's the kissing kind!

Eyewit-Ness comes up for air
And taking notes without a care,
Then turns with a crash and a bash and a splash
To the Family Ness...

Closing Credits

You can knock it,
You can rock it,
You can go to Timbuktu,
But you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.

You may see an Anaconda,
Or Giraffe and Kangaroo,
But you'll never see a Nessie in the zoo....

You'll Never Find A Nessie In The Zoo

You'll Never Find A Nessie In The Zoo

Released on the 5th October 1984, following the final episode broadcast. It was a reworking of the closing credits, fleshed out into a two and a half minute recording. Well remembered by children of the era, it suprisingly never entered the Top 40.

Lyrics

Upside-downy bats and stripy cats
And monkeys too.
Big cow pats and keepers' hats
And things that whiff and phew.

Birds that stand on spiky legs,
While others bill and coo.
Yes, there's an awful lot of sadness
In the zoo.

You can knock it,
You can rock it,
You can go to Timbuktu.
But you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.

You may see an anaconda,
A giraffe and kangaroo.
But you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.

While dolphins leap,
Sealions sleep,
Gorillas stare at you.
Camel rides and penguin slides,
To catch a fish or two.

Sly vultures look you in the eye
And see you as a stew.
At feeding time they'd make
A hearty meal of you.

You can knock it,
You can rock it,
You can go to Timbuktu.
But you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.

You may go to Auchtermuchty,
And Drumnadrochit too.
But you'll never find a Nessie in the zoo.

Creepy crawly things
And yawning kings
Stay out of view.
Hippopotami don't bat an eye,
They wallow in the goo.

While cuddly bears,
Just hug in pairs,
Hyenas laugh at you.
And there's not a lot to laugh at
In the zoo.

Gallery

External Links